Parents of children with serious illness must find a tolerable way of living each day, while caring for their child and making decisions about their treatments. Sometimes clinicians worry that parents do not understand the seriousness of their child's...
Parents of children with serious illness must find a tolerable way of living each day, while caring for their child and making decisions about their treatments. Sometimes clinicians worry that parents do not understand the seriousness of their child's illness, including possible death. This can lead to tension, disagreement and even conflict. Such situations continue to occur despite expanding literature to help clinicians understand drivers of parental behaviour and decision‐making. Some of this literature relates to the role of hope and how parents characterise being a ‘good parent’. This article will summarise some of the applications and limitations of the hope and ‘good parent’ literature, as well as frameworks to understand grief and loss. We propose, however, that there is at least one missing link in understanding potential dissonance in views between parents and clinicians. We will make a case for the importance of a richer understanding about if, and how, parents ‘visit’ the ‘reality’ that clinicians wish to convey about their child's diagnosis and prognosis. We propose that clinician understanding about the benefits and burdens of ‘visiting’ this ‘reality’ for an individual family may help guide conversations and rapport, which in turn may influence decision‐making with benefits for the child, family and clinicians.